i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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