she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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