Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
