Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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