Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I can only date guys with blackberrys

(810): View more from Michigan

I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me

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(831): View more from California

I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.

(1-831): View more from California

stop. you already have a dog

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(614): View more from Ohio

He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick

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(727): View more from Florida

She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important

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