K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.