another moral hangover. fuck.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Randomize
