idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
