Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
