so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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