you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
