at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
