Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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