But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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