I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
