In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
