i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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