Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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