Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dick very happy bro
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
