Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize