If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
