If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
