Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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