spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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