He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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