I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
