Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
