I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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