So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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