Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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