This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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