On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
