she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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