Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This girl is more easily done than said...
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
