We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
