Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
