You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
