Sry I called you an 8
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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