Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
