Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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