But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
