This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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