Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
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Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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