She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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