I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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