Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So squirting runs in the family.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
