thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
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