She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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