i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
