OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
