I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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