Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
