So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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