so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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