so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
