I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
