why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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