How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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