Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
