Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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