We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
