...so i touched it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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