she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
